As I said, I’m Alfred, a 19 year old absolute waste of flesh and oxygen, depressing? yes I’m kind of feeling it too, I have no idea why I’m starting this but hey, I guess everyone needs an outlet, for anger, stress, bad feng shui, whatever u choose to let out (considering most of my 'letting out' usually comes from my rear end, most of it wont be too pleasant)

I have had the most absolute vertigo-ish past 6 months of my life, in which I have successfully loved someone, thought I loved a couple of people but found out it was my other head doing the thinking, not realize my dad was on vacation and out of the country (I have reasons), and screw up my own thoughts so bad that the only sense of sanity I had was the thought that I don’t control my own breathing functions. Of which I thank God for kindly ensuring that I'm still here. I figure that I'm stuck in one of those periods of extended limbo, still confused as to weather this pile of lard my soul is supposed to inhabit is actually worth the effort of even carrying around.

Yes things could be worse, I could well be dead this instant, something I pretty much wish for, not that I'm pro suicide or anything but life is pretty boring once you figure it out. But then again, I guess this is basic psychotic fare coming out of my babble box, quite normal for people in my condition. But hey, if not for suicidal tendencies, what else is there to talk about

I realize I'm becoming incoherent. That should be quite a recurring trend around here. Goodnight.